I got divorced about 10 years ago and have been dating on and off for 9 years. Over the next few months I’ll occasionally introduce you to some of the doozies. They are all true stories.
I affectionately call this guy My Vampire Spotter.
Our first (and only) date, flowers, a Porsche. During an expensive dinner out, he nonchalantly tells me that he sees Vampires on every corner – he was very clear that he was speaking literally. The Vampires had red glowing eyes. I stayed through the meal; I shouldn’t have. Still, nothing happened. I got home safe.
I remember the music he played in his car, devoid of feeling, techno. I remember the rip in the leather passenger’s seat in his car. I don’t remember his face. It was only later that I realized the goofball got it wrong. Vampires don’t wait on street corners. Those are boogey men, aren’t they? Vampires wait in coffins, don’t they?
Songs for the Pure of Heart 